regret

[187] Haiku x11

[187].png

always rushing through
trying to reach the end, but
missing all the sights

there’s no one big thing
waiting at the end, for us,
cinematic close

exist so many
beautiful occurences
along this short path

running for the end
missing out on little things
that become so big

arriving too early
because we never once stopped
to smell the roses

dying unhappy
unfulfilled and frustrated
is not worth the rush

choosing all that is
and planning how all will be
is a futile act

wishing we’d slowed down
taken just a chance to breathe
now we can’t turn back

regret is a waste
don’t suffer a second pain
for a past mistake

change the path we’re on
change the pace we’re living at
change our attitude

always moving forth
living now and feeling now
this is living life

A thought to myself

A thought to myself.
I don’t want to make one aloud,
But I feel that way again.
Curse the tides of the yearly cycle;
Why do they have to bring me
Back to this place again?

Why do I have to
Have a body at all?
Can’t I float away
As an essence itself?
I can think alone
Without distraction.
And there’d be
No seasons
To fall in.

Materials– no, people—
Divide me. I don’t know
Who I am around them.
But it isn’t me, because
I appear to you as something,
And if I appear as anything,
It is a horrible inaccuracy,
As I am nothing.

I have no name,
I have no gender,
I have no love,
I have no sexuality,
I have no time,
I have no thoughts that feel original, that don’t make me feel like I’m constantly trapped in the same cycle, never to really learn from my mistakes, never to escape the horrors I keep casting upon myself, never to live beyond these walls I fabricate in my mind, never to see your face again, never to touch you, to hold your hand, to be with you, never to know what it’s liked to be loved again, never to be honestly comfortable around anyone, and what did I do? Oh yes, I remember now.

…

You want me to let go of regrets.
I regret this existence.
~