I’ll never remember everything I said that day.
So many shadows cast by shapes
Set only there by me
In a time
A cycle away from
Where we find ourselves today.
I’m not afraid of this dark
I find myself in.
Someday, you’ll hear the words
Filled with promises I don’t recall
Word by word, but
I know of their heart,
Just like I know yours.
Just like I know when I lay to rest,
You will rise again.
You will read these words,
Just like each before.
I remember a promise
To take this one moment
And write it for myself.
And from one, came two.
An essence amongst else in air around us,
Existing as everlastingly as you and I,
In each aspiration or assonance,
Always is yours affectual;
All you exhale,
Closing in by seconds:
I want to say something in time.
Something that will express what I need to.
Something that describes all the ways you
Are more than what you credit yourself for.
I’m no different,
But feel like far less;
Waiting out this darkness, waiting for…
Longing for a place to be
Belonging– feeling part of
May each golden memory
Something we cannot fathom.
Something imaginable, but impossible.
Something existing beyond our senses.
Something desisting what seems sensible.
Something describing the nature of all.
Something inscribing that one turned to none.
And from none came one, came two,
Came the myriad of all, and me, and you.
I want more time
With the people I love
Than time I will ever have
Even to myself;
My seconds alive quartered by population,
And still not enough
For those in my circles
As drifting from the center
The radius increases
Until they no longer
Keep touch at all
At my fault
You waited for the moment
The numbers aligned
To that familiar place
That you couldn’t describe.
A bridge you gave to someone far away.
A thousand miles, but further still
In regards outside sheer distance.
A bridge not to you. Such they sought.
Ought they not trifle with your vision, however.
You had enough trouble seeing yourself right.
Ought they look across the way
Into that thick, ceaseless opaqueness.
Yet to break away, but remind you of a self
That you could not accept. It was not true.
It was not you. You didn’t deserve that, you say.
You wrote far away, but they found you anyway
And followed in these steps, still ever past the day
You were finished with it all. Alone in that fog,
They knew for once that they must walk on.