[106] Stem

[106]

Holding tight
To all I’ve ever known,
Why would I want to let go
Of this place I call home?

I don’t want to fly!
I must stay with my roots,
Not to be away from you!
What would ever be my use?

Or I don’t want to be alone?
Is it not for me to choose?

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[105] Post Meridiem

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Hour to next,
It all goes too fast,
Leaving me perplexed
As to how much has passed!
Too soon must we rest
And face it all again
In these moments, our best,
Are my only desired “when”.

[104] Ante Meridiem

[104]

Woefully awoken once again.
Weary walking out of the room,
Once again to breathe.

The darkness shall remain
Still another couple hours.
You wish your thoughts would not.

Insomniatic silence is so loud,
You wish it would give it a rest,
So you could take your own.

You consider counting.
You count the natural numbers,
And think of the primes,
And how unpredictable they are
They remind you of the stars;
They remain unreachable.

You count the stars.
You feel less alone.
You can rest easy.

[102] Haiku x6

[102]

glyphs cast change on word
characters changing charting
and spoken chatting

letters and numbers
monograms and numerals
typing, writing script

cast caligraphy
cursive, curving, crisp and crossed
cipher creation

word etched into stone
clay turns to metal and glass
word etched in tablets

fonts form for new form
from alpha to omega
finding further feel

books are none without
symbols stolen, shared, so on
telling their own story

[101] I

[101].png

I am afraid.

I guess when
I pretend that
I don’t feel that way
I don’t really help anything.
I can’t expect to move forward if
I can’t accept where
I have found myself.

I don’t know how you and
I are going to make this work.
I know that you and
I are strong together, and
I have faith in us. But,
I have fear, as well. And
I have felt so sorry for this.

I think you want me to see that
I shouldn’t be sorry for feelings
I can’t control, expected feelings
I have known were a part of the deal.
I understand. It took time before
I could see this, but
I think it’s clear now.

I am afraid, but
I can move forward.

I am afraid, but
I am more than that.

I am afraid, and
I am alive.

[100] Me

[100]

What’s wrong with me?

Twisted.
Corrupted.
Broken.
Heartless.
Terrible.
Delusional.

It’s so heavy.

A weight.
A burden.
A failure.
A liar.
A waste of space.

It’s so overwhelming.

In the way.
In the wrong.
Out of touch.
Out of control.

No more, please.

Deserve nothing.
Only worth hate.
Empty of worth.

Please, this is too much–
I’m begging you,
This hurts me,
This hurts so much.

Give up. Stop trying.
Go away. You’re ugly.

Do you hate me?
Do you hate me so much?
Why do you hate?
What is the point?
You know this isn’t right!
It isn’t helping anything!
What do you want?

I want you to die.

No!
Why?
Why!
You don’t!
I don’t!
What?
Stop!
Please, no!
You love yourself!
You promised me!
I promised me!
What?

What’s wrong with me?