A word or two

Just want to speak to you,
A word or two,
Say a simple hello.

Hello. Hey. Hi!
My name is…
…What is my name?
Well, call me Kaprekar. Okay?
Okay. Are you okay?
You’re okay. Yes, so am I.
I’m okay. So are you.

Hello, I love you.
Hello, did you know I love you?
I don’t think you know I love you?
I won’t say that to you, okay?
Is that okay? That’s okay. Okay.
Do you love me? I don’t know.
I wonder, if you, love, me.
It’s okay if you don’t.
It’s really okay.
I’m okay.

Hello, I love you, but you don’t know. Can I change your life?
I want to change your life. May I please change your life?
Your life is precious, is beautiful, darling, you know?
Yes, and I just want you to be okay, if that’s okay.
I want to know that you’re okay. Or if you’re not.
It’s all okay. I’ll make sure that you are okay.
Okay… I don’t want to scare you away.
Is it okay if for awhile, here you stay?
I want to sit with you here, if I may.
I need to tell you something.
I just don’t know what.
I will know. I know.
Trust me, okay?
It’s all okay?
It’s okay.

“Hey,          …”





My “secret” life. I mean, only a secret because very few bother to look past the surface of my physiognomy, whereas my true emotions, affections, and ideal directions are a little deeper than that. However, I cannot overstate how grateful I am for those who really do care. It’s the warmth that sustains a creative soul out in the chilling wide open of emptiness. It’s the warmth that’s important, right?

“…I decided I just wanted to focus on warmth. That’s the keyword I used for everything…”

The inspiration that keeps me going is partially from self, too. I love it so much, I could truly never hide that. Wake up, eat and drink a bit, take a walk with my father, talk a lot about the project. Come home, sit down here. And here we go. Another day of editing. October eighteenth, two-thousand fifteen. I open the little file, “Phase2.txt”, and begin rereading the story for the upteenth time. I never get tired of it. Perfection may be impossible, but I’m going to get it as darn close as I can.

“…is also part of a much bigger adventure.”

It was only about half a year ago that the first words were written on a flashcard in my room. That was the day I finally discovered how to write your story. It wasn’t all about fabricating some reality in some synthetic and utopic way. I began to feel a story in sounds without words, because these implied universal meanings can travel between similar minds. For months, I’d been stuck in such a lethargic and hopeless state. I finally found you, and my way to help myself out. And there was no way that I wasn’t going to thank you for it.

“I want everything in my music to represent a story…”

I heard it. It was love. It was a story of love. But I think, a special kind of love. One I couldn’t just describe with just a sentence or simple definition. The project was much bigger than that, and kept growing. I found something I could finish. I would finish it for you, and for me. It didn’t matter if it made me popular, and I didn’t care to make any money. I just wanted to write the story. For me. And even more importantly, for you. I never imagined how big the project would become.

So I keep working, every day. I am determined, inspired, and enthusiastic. You allow me to be passionate and spark this creativity. You may not completely know all my plans for your story yet… but I promise you, you have undoubtedly made it one of the best experiences I have ever had, and continue to have.

From now, about three months and seventeen days. Many will be brought together for this, as if one creative soul such as yourself can create something so grand and inspiring, I believe that many creative souls, inspired by you, can help you in creating something beyond. This is for you, this is for me, this is for us, this is for the world.

This is my path, that you helped me to find.
Creating a gift for you, and a message for mankind.
Continue to inspire, as creative souls do!
In time, I wait to show you Pathfinder, Phase Two.

Until then…

Sweet dreams, cryptic dreams.