Cursed

The one person who’d kept me hanging on

The one person who told me I’d come out okay, and I believed

The one person that changed my life more than any other

Is gone.

And these memories haunt me every hour of every day

The trust I had was shattered, and that’s all I had,

So it left me in pieces. I don’t believe anymore

That I’ll ever come out okay

And I can’t hang on anymore

Because I don’t feel a reason to keep trying to outrun this cursed fate.

They tell me I need to take a break

And all I can think of now

Is taking a “break”

That never

Ends.

9 thoughts on “Cursed”

  1. Sweet Kaprekar,

    Outrunning them is no option since they are too fast, but we can outlove our curses by counting our blessings. You are among my strongest blessings. I cannot hide the fact that my life is too hard, and I will continue being honest, not to make you or anyone else lose faith, but quite the opposite. I do hang by a thread sometimes; your own perseverance is for me more important than you know.

    You told me yesterday to stay strong, and I do, because you told me to and you meant it.
    I told you to be prepared for miracles and here is one of them already; I promise I didn’t talk with her about you at all, Khushboo came here on her own and she is a treasure for both me and you, a person full of light whom I have seen (felt) lovingly supporting a teen drug addict friend of hers, someone who already embraces your own darkness unconditionally, so do follow her and allow her to help me start uplifting your thoughts to joy and optimism. I know it is a long process and I know we can make it together.

    I promise to hang in there if you promise too.

    You are in my heart always.
    Leon

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    • I want to hang in there. I’m still trying, if only for the sake of keeping promises I’ve made, if only for the sake of the people I care about, even those who have turned away. I fear letting them down more than anything else.

      I promise I’ll stay here. I solemnly am making my best effort every day. I hope that praying from our hearts to our minds, together, will help us all.

      ~Kaprekar~

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  2. “Greece must be destroyed” but hey, you know what, all you schemers with your nasty little war games? We must go on, and we will because we have strong allies! Thank you, Kaprekar. Have a great day, my dear!

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  3. This is exactly how I felt when my Mother left this world. It has taken me nearly thiety years to accept that I will be okay without her love in the flesh. Still, when I am very low I cry and remember that I feel lost without that unconditional love. So I step into her shoes and dee me with her eyes. Love me with her heart and try to keep her alive in this way. All of our stories, our lives are different on the surface, but we all suffer from the same sense of separation and loneliness. Sending all the love I can for you.

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