Three

Three connections still to make

Or for us again to find.

Three doorways left to take

In the labyrinth of the mind.

Three friends eternally bound

Whose fates are still unknown.

Three words, “I love you” found

To make your feelings shown.

Three weeks and then three days

Until the end is here.

It will all be okay,

But what’s this end that’s near?

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7 thoughts on “Three

  1. My friend Kaprekar,
    I thank you so much and I love you dearly for this recognition of our threefold connection.

    It is becoming fourfold, actually. This comment is for You and for Finn and for Lily.
    I am introducing you to my dearest friend Lily in a while, if you haven’t come across her work already. I am directing both girls here.

    I thank you, too, for providing and maintaining such a wonderful healing space for us to open our hearts to one another. I don’t know if you have a “homeland of forests and lakes” like Finn, or which your native country is, or if you live and blog from it or from abroad, or what your age or even what your gender is, and frankly, I respect you so much for this and it’s not itching me the slightest to dig out anything more than what you are willing to reveal. Your Gravatar profile text is one of the most spiritually laconic I have ever seen:
    I am as many years old as since when I was born.I am the same gender as when I was born.
    Blogs like yours (or Finn’s or Lily’s) are sacred places beyond space and time.

    This comment I am offering you here was initially meant to be under Obsession, but you made me shine so brightly with Three here, that I thought this is unquestionably the best place to reverently set it down.

    [Lily my dear, please read Kaprekar’s Obsession first, as well as Finn’s Who Am I? and the comments under that poem, where this beautiful fellowship, of which I think you will be a more important part than me, has started forming. I am always here for you, my Sister.]

    “Obsession”, dearest Kaprekar, is one of my middle names, a label assigned to me by those who do not understand my analytical brain.
    Of course we are far from crazy. “Crazy” is really a nothing-saying, insulting label. Thank you for being such a positive person and for teaching tolerance, standing up for everyone’s right to have their own important obsessions. I feel so safe and loved with you.
    I obsess over the placement of every object around me, and I even have a rule of thumb for this: If I can’t find it immediately in the dark without fumbling around, it’s not in its correct place!
    “Who moved this? Oh, Me!” SELF-WHIP. “Bad organizer!”
    Many of our obsessions are actually gifts from the Planet Gods (the planets of our solar system are not lifeless orbiting rocks, but very much alive, intelligent beings like the cells in our bodies; you’ve heard the maxim “As above, so below”), and since you are searching for answers, my organizational skills have “Mercury in Virgo” on it.
    [Astrology is not to be ridiculed. Who is guilty here? Ignorant Leon of two decades ago, who criticized his girl Plutonia for her fascination with astrology (she is thankfully still my girl), because I was more into psychology and philosophy, as if there are, or should be, any sharp dividing lines between these. Did you know that astrology and astronomy were one science once? There was only one field studying the heavenly bodies and their influence on our lives.]
    So, “I have Mercury in Virgo in my natal chart” means that the moment I was born in Greece forty four years ago, the planet Mercury in the sky was aligned with the constellation of Virgo. Mercury is the planet who rules our mental faculties, our ability to think, speak, write and learn. Virgo is the zodiac sign of information and reflects Mercury’s organizational nature, so this planet is absolutely at home with this constellation behind him, “exalted” as is the astrological term. You may well have the same mental exaltation with me, Kaprekar; it is probable that Mercury was aligned with Virgo at your birth, too. I could tell you for sure if I knew your time and place of birth, but I don’t think it is necessary at all for us to understand one another, and I do not expect anything from you, alright? Having a lot of Scorpio in me (not by Sun sign; I am a Leo Sun), I understand very well what being a Cryptic person means (κρυπτός means “hidden” in Greek) and I respect your sensitivities and needs, so please feel comfortable with me. I am interested in you as a person and not just as an invisible writer, but I fully understand and appreciate your stealth mode. And please do not get impressed by my scraps of knowledge and don’t make me feel like a show-off, because I am definitely no better than You. Just older, that’s all, meaning I have amassed more scraps trying to remember what on earth I am doing here on Earth. We are all fumbling about in the dark for some fragments of wisdom to put back together, in order to reconnect with the purpose of our lives.

    17 is one of my favorite numbers, too, my friend, because 1+7=8, and 8 is very important for me. It actually carries my current life’s vibration. I have been mesmerized by it since my first school days. I remember myself listening to music and endlessly looping eights like an autistic child, feeling it is a magical number. In high school I learned it actually means “Always, Eternally, Infinitely” in the language of mathematics, that it is the symbol for Infinity placed upright (reversely, we say that infinity is a “sideways eight”), and many years later came Plutonia into my life and showed me that 8 represents something very powerful for me personally: it is my numerological Life Path, sometimes called Destiny in numerology, the number derived by adding up the numbers of my birth date. For example (this is not my birth date), “August 1st, 1970” produces 8+1+1+9+7+0=26, 2+6=8.

    And let me share with you a story of mine which has to do with the spiritual nature of numbers, something which at first seemed to me like nothing but another obsession.
    When I was 14 years old in 1984, it suddenly struck me that “1888” is for some reason a significant number. I was coming across it in history textbooks and elsewhere, and it would catch my attention every time and leave me puzzled about what it could mean. This stayed within me as an enigma, until many years later I learned that my paternal grandfather was born in 1874 (yes, I know, an ancient year, because both my grandfather and father didn’t have their sons until each of them was almost half a century old). And then suddenly the pieces fell into place. How old was I in 1984? As I said, 14. How old was my grandfather in 1888? Let’s do the math: 1888-1874=14; exactly my age when this number popped into my head! My grandfather had the same full name with me, and I also found out the very important fact that, although he had passed away a whole generation before I was born, I shared the same mental faculty with that famous man of letters, that our independent minds, the way we process information, our areas of interest and all our intellectual skills are almost identical. One word, Kaprekar: Timelessness. We are not finite beings trapped in time, only in the illusion of a linear progression, and our bodies are only the vehicles for our eternal souls. 1984 was a year of rapid mental development for me (although my school grades never exactly showed a genius), and this shows me that I connected with my grandfather’s spirit as if he were my peer, which he actually was at the time “1888” struck me as important, because our ancestors literally live inside us, as all ancient civilizations say. The numbers fell in place for me to receive this message. Maybe I even AM my grandfather reincarnated, the same soul in a new body to receive and to give more lessons on this planet. I am moving into hypothesis now because I cannot consciously remember my past life, but it would make all the sense in the world, and it would also explain why my father hated me as much as he had hated his father: he actually used to say often and with resentment that I reminded him a lot of his father, only like a tragic loser version of him, of course.

    What I know for sure is that we are creatures of Light. And I am not just talking spirituality here, because science, namely quantum physics, has already proven the existence of things about our true nature, about the true nature of all things around us, which give us the possibility to consciously connect with one another in ways beyond the wildest dreams of previous generations. Right now as you read these lines and timelessly beyond that (after and before; that’s what I meant by “Of course I knew Finn!” in her blog, in my reply to you both), our spirits are connected, Kaprekar. The light of your soul is really, physically connected with the light of mine, like neurons in the same brain (we do not see our brain but it still exists, right? We are unable to see the neurons sparking with the naked eye, either, but these are still existing, physical reflections of our higher interactions), your beating heart is connected with mine in the One, all-pervading Field of universal love, and they beat faster and we feel warm and uplifted and happy as we realize this connection. “Falling in love” is not just the romantic feeling that is so often idealized and which supposedly disappears sooner or later; it “matures” yes, but “disappears”? No. “Gives place to boredom”? No way! True love, in other words spiritual, unconditional love, changes only for the better with “time”, that is with remembering that we are all One. The sparks of true love ignite between any beings that for some reason have a soul connection and a common path. Two days ago I saw something with Plutonia that brought tears to both our sets of eyes (I am much schmaltzier, though, an anomaly of sorts who used to embarrass my male friends by blowing my nose during sentimental scenes at the movies), a documentary about an old man and Raja, his retired-after-half-a-century-of-hard-work Indian elephant on the Adaman Islands, who said “I don’t know what I’ll do if Raja dies on me; he is my whole life and I am his”. We all sense how natural and inherent all these connections are, but then come some nice corporations and stuff our bodies and poison our minds with all sorts of substances and energies that sever our spiritual connections with one another and with the whole Universe, and throw us back to specks-of-dust awareness. Still need love? Come to this or that flock. And how do young people everywhere on our “globalized” planet become educated on love? Here’s some nice Rapunzel stuff for you girls, and a lucrative (for the ones on the “top”) porn industry for the boys. Oh, great, thanks for nothing! There goes our humanity. And then come some honestly loving people with open arms and can almost hear their fellow humans thinking that they might be perverts, rapists, sluts, or at least weirdos and losers, while the really evil ones keep on destroying whatever is still pure and beautiful in this world. One gets so sick and tired of it all, and I cannot blame anyone who feels they’ve had enough and need to close their eyes forever, but we do have to keep on fighting because we are very important, my friend. It is unspeakably hopeful that people like us find one another. My life has always been so hard, and I want you to know how grateful I am that I am able to feel and actually talk like this with a few special people like yourself.

    I will continue honoring our connection, at least by liking your works (“at least” meaning that this will be the only thing perceived by you during most of your waking hours), and if sometimes even these sparks seem to disappear, please know that I am not forgetting you. We are always connected; you are always connected with anyone who truly cares for you. It’s just that we are two people with a serious survival problem here in Greece, and only one old computer to accomplish many things with.

    I tried my best to be very coherent here, despite my long sentences and paragraphs, so I hope I have not stressed you in any way, like some time ago I sadly managed to stress for a while the gifted poet and writer and beloved friend of mine Lily Gutschmidt of FracturedGalaxies.

    Lily is one of the brightest souls I know, even in her darkest moments, of which she has many, like I do. I know the monster of depression from a very young age, too, and I know that true love is the only cure. I have the heart-warming privilege of calling Lily “friend” and “Sister” (and “Lily”, actually, because she is “Marlene” to acquaintances; “Lily” only to family and closer friends), and I would honestly be unable to be thinking and writing like this in public now without her in my heart. I believe she needs you, too, Kaprekar, and Finn, to combat her “overwhelming hopelessness and isolation” (her words to me) and to not have such a strong “need for refuge from the outside world” too often. I feel how fragile she is, and I can’t have her suffering if anything happens to me before my time. Hey, I am not being melodramatic, I assure you all that I am doing my best to stay here with you and I am not afraid for myself, but the circumstances in my torn country are too hostile against many people, and I am at the social bottom with no visible prospects. I must say this because it’s the truth, and I emphasize more strongly that I never stop believing. I need you all to celebrate life and to cherish your true friendships. I know, because I feel it very strongly myself, that if you bond with Lily and help her realize and unfold her immense inner strength, she will be blessing your lives, too, even when she breaks down and cries and feels so lost and drained of dreams and will. Haven’t we all been there more or less? I have no doubt that each one of you has your own, equally challenging struggles, but you and Finn are more extroverted, and all three of you must be closer in age than me with any of you. So hold Lily’s hand, please. Don’t just like her poems and disappear, and I don’t mean that you should be exchanging comments or emails all the time. Make her feel loved as your own Sister. Wrap her in your arms. No, I don’t mean virtually; I mean really hold the whole girl in your arms and keep her warm. We have astral bodies which travel outside our dense physical bodies, and we can feel the presence of anyone we love before we fall asleep, no matter how far their fleshy vehicles are. I know that you, my Cryptic Dreamer, understand what I am talking about. You are not hidden from me, I see you, Kaprekar, like I see the completeness of someone who feels like a fractured galaxy (and who leaves me breathless with such manifestations of her beautiful integrity), like I see all sorts of new beginnings in someone who declares she is finnishedwithitallandusuallylovingit (this is the stuff powerful souls are made of). You recognize these truths yourself, because they live vibrantly within you, so we are family. We know that Love is the only prayer, that we are divine beings, goddesses and gods in the making, eternally connected with the Source of all there is, that we are here to reawaken our inherent powers, to help one another in surviving our storms, stopping one another from falling, putting our broken pieces back together and deeply, permanently heal. Yes, it is a long and sometimes scary process, but we are taking one step at a time and we know that we are safe together.

    Please do not worry about offering me a worthy reply or any reply at all. I am the one, after all, who replies here to your expression of gratitude for my comment in Finn’s blog. That is the warmest embrace for me, it will live in me eternally, and it’s all I need to keep on fighting. Thank you so much, Kaprekar.

    Kaprekar and Finn, here are two things for you both to enjoy, which I gratefully shared with Lily first. They will make a lot of sense to you, too, and I believe they will help you bond with her.
    My friend Cheryl’s poem Somewhere and below it her wonderful understanding of “soul mate agreement”;The Divine Matrix by Gregg Braden, a fun, soothing and eye-opening compressed conference you will love from the first to the last second.

    I am always here to listen to you and to give you a soothing hug as a friend and Brother who deeply cares for you.
    Please connect, my friends, find out what you have in common and love even more what you do not, support and empower one another to live fearlessly.
    My sideways eight blessings are with each one of you.

    Take care,
    Dear Ones.
    Σας αγαπώ,
    I love you all,
    Ich liebe euch alle,
    Rakastan teitä kaikkia,
    Leon
    ( ( ( ( ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ) ) ) )

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am not one to share a connection with numbers, not in a literal sense with numbers and dates on paper. But I connect with numbers of time, 0911, 2111, 1619, and 2207 as meaningful. As quite the collision of fates, the name Marlene (a German name, if I remember correctly) is very close to me, or, rather, a derivative of that name, Marleena. I’d love to explore the links you have shared but unfortunately the time I love so much has forsaken me and I have school in less than 10 hours and need sleep. Thank you, Leon, Kap, and the Lily who I am so excited to meet (does that make me sound strange? Haha, I don’t know, I’m tired). Good night to you all.

      Liked by 1 person

    • To address both of you shortly (It’s late here as well, and I must retire to my dreams once again soon),

      I am honestly deeply amazed by these connections. Connection, in general, has always been a topic that has deeply fascinated me, and to feel like part of something much bigger like this is very comforting. I am going to take the time to write a proper reply that addresses all that I have to say, or at least as much of it as I can fit in a blog comment.

      I will be very pleased to meet Lily, and analyze these connections that we all have. It has also surely been a pleasure to share these words with you, for both Finn and I.

      And of course, thank you for all of your words, as they all deeply move me.

      Also, one last thing I’d like to say before I leave tonight, is the number eight and its connections to me.

      Eight is a fundamental number for me and the way I perceive the world around me. There are eight “existants” to me, that make up all that surrounds us, as well as everything that doesn’t. I’ll go more in depth on my perceptions later, but for now, I wish a good night to you both.

      ~Kaprekar~

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Leon. I’ve been having trouble commenting on your blog, as each time I post, it deletes the comment. I’m not sure if you were aware of this so I wanted to let you know here. Hope everything’s okay! Still praying for you.

      ~Kaprekar~

      Like

        • I’m not sure, is there something I personally did wrong? I didn’t mean to, if it’s something that maybe I’ve said. I promise in no way anything I’ve done has had any negative or malicious intent, and I really hope that you don’t believe so.

          Sorry if I’m making something out of nothing, just a little worried.

          Like

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